Smile Froggy: PTSD
by Lazy.Elegance
Summary: [AU] A month has gone by since Bel killed Verde. Fran's having a hard time distinguishing reality as he's having vivid memories of his past. The hallucination of a boy named Casper is creating a wall between Fran and Bel. Their romance is endanger, will Bel be able to save Fran once again?
1. Chapter 1

**Smile Froggy: PTSD.**

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_Is this real? Am I real?_

_What's going on? I don't know._

A month has gone by since Verde was brutally killed by Belphegor. My roommate in the Varia, ever since then I was taken in for counselling, but even though I have help from Bel I still have terrible nightmares from the incident and as well from the time I was in Verde's abusive care.

I could hear the screeching wails of the girl that lied on the opposite side of where I laid. In the dark corners of the cold stiff room, she cried haunting tears while her arm bled from an experiment Verde conducted on her. My fingers shook as they were cold, I haven't felt any warmth in over a week, and no food for two days, no water for a day.

There's a boy around the age of fourteen in one of the smaller cages, he's sleeping but he isn't breathing. He's cold and his body isn't moving and I can tell that he's dead, and he's been dead for over forty eight hours and I'm still trying to ignore the stench of his decaying body.

The large door creaks open and the girl who is crying shuts up and whimpers. The scientist in a white coat, smeared in fresh oozing blood from his latest experiment on one of the girls that are in a different rooms. Her screams kept me up all night. He walked closer towards where I laid and opened the hatch and for a second I thought I was going to be the next victim. Except he gave me this blue pill and a small cup of water, I swallowed it and quickly drank the water.

He closed the hatch and walked away, I watched intently and the harsh tears rose and fell down my cheeks, a choked out cry escaped my lips. I knew I was nothing in this world as I laid down on the cage, using my arms for a pillow and curling my body closer so I could have some kind of blanket.

I closed my tired eyes, but the screams that were silenced then resumed and I think I have insomnia.

"Fran!" The girl screams, I look and she's staring at me with a wide menacing smile. Her teeth white and her gums bleeding, "Fran!" She screams again, my heart is pounding against my chest.

"Wake up!" Then suddenly my eyes are wide open and it's cold like it was in that room, and I'm outside with the wind pushing back my hair. He's in front of me with a worried look on his face, I reach my hand and touch his cheek, sighing at how smooth and warm he was that I fall into his chest, listening to his heart beat as he picks my legs up and walks me back into the building.

Everything rushes to my head, all the memories. Belphegor, my roommate, right he saved me. He saved me from myself and I feel grateful and I want to stay with him, I want to hug him, and be with him right now. I hope that he mends this pain in my chest that never goes away, I really hope he does because I'm tired of it.

It hurts a lot. The memory is nothing but pain.

"Please save me.." I whimper in his chest.

A sigh escapes his lips as I'm placed down on the bed and the blankets covers my body. I tug on it and smell the blankets and it smells like Bel. I open my eyes and see him changing his clothes, he takes his shirt off and his stomach is so pretty and muscular. I want to run my hands over it, then he takes his pants off and I close my eyes right away.

My heart is hurting again, but in a good way. I open my eyes and look and see he's pulling his shorts on, but he keeps his shirt off and then he walks over to the light switch and flicks it. The light in the room turns off and the memory resumes.

"Bel! Bel!" I yell frantically, hating the dark as I see the girl smiling at me again. Then the light is turned on and Bel is next to me right away, holding me tightly as I sob frantically and I keep saying sorry in his chest. He rubs my back and says it's okay.

I feel a little shattered, broken, I lost the pieces to something and I can't grab them. The only pieces I have are the ones I don't want and I need Bel to hug me and never turn the light off. I feel so bad. I'm a horrible person, why is Bel with me?

I try pulling away, but Bel tightens his grip, his lips are next to my neck and his breath makes me shudder. I squirm and feel his lips curl into a smile as he licks my neck. Then he bites down on the skin and I try pushing again then he's sucking.

"Bel!" I whine miserably, the tears aren't there and the pain in my chest isn't there, and I feel really great. Then he pulls away and smiles, licks his lips and whisper _'delicious.'_

He turns the lamp that's next to me on, and turns the light off. He jumps on the other side of me and lays next to me, smelling my hair as I curl myself in Bel's hold. I wonder now how long this will last, my happiness is very complicated and I'm just a complete wreck.

When I close my eyes, I feel the coldness of that room I was locked up in. The light overhead is broken and keeps sparking, and the girl on the other side of me is crying, her tears are falling into a puddle, and the boy that died stinks and I wonder when Verde will get rid of his body. Then I realize there's more people in the room, like the kid next to me in the cage, is staring at me with hungry eyes and I'm scared.

I'm lost Bel. I'm lost and I don't know how long I'll be lost for. While I'm lost, please don't forget me, don't let me lose everything and maybe I'll be fine for awhile. I'm just a scared person having horrible nightmares of my past that won't go away, and even now while I'm safely in your arms.

I don't feel safe.

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**To Be Continued.**

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**[Authors Notes]**

**If you want you can read Smile Froggy. It's on my list of stories. :)**

**If not, then that's fine too. **

**This is about Fran's past which is haunting him. I got the idea while I was playing Alice: Madness returns.**

**It will be mostly about Fran's hallucinations, anxiety, struggles and delusions. As well with the continuation of Bel and Fran's relationship. If it will survive or be a tragedy.**

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**Reviews are appreciated. No flames or bashing please.**


	2. Chapter 2

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_Ten, nine, eight, seven..._

"Fran.." The girl squeaked.

My eyes opened and I looked across from where I was on the cold floor in the cage, the girl that was lying on the floor, tears soaked in her red puffy eyes and the blood on her arm has dried up. Her dry red hair and pasty skin made me want to reach out for her and comfort her, although we're inevitably trapped. She opened her mouth as if she were about to say something but it closed shut.

A maniacal laughter broke the cold silence. I felt my body flinch at the twisted sound that reminded me of nails on a chalk board, a boy in the darkness far across on the other side of the room smiled sadistically from his cage. A white bandage matted with blood covered his eyes that were ripped from his sockets in an experiment.

"Die!" He screeched, tilting his head while his mouth widened. "Die, die, die, die!" His laughter stung my ears and I tightly closed my eyes, wishing to be dead inside this dreaded cell. Then suddenly when I thought I was truly going to die like a rat, a phantom hand shook my shoulder, I was took weak to fight it then my eyes opened and I was staring into a bunch of blond hair.

"Bel.." I whimpered, a tear rolling down my cheek.

He sighed and brought me into a hug, I realize the rays of the sun coming through the dark curtains. It's morning, or maybe it's the afternoon. I don't know. Everything sort of just comes back to me, last night I was outside and I don't know why I was outside. Then Bel came and brought me back into the Varia and we're inside the soundproof room right now.

"Bad dreams?" He asked me, his breath hot in my ear.

I nod and he pulled away, giving me a sincere smile. "Let's go eat," He took my hand into his and dragged me out of the room and down the hallway towards the cafeteria. I wipe the tear from my cheek and try my hardest to think of happy things, I even practiced in those few seconds to smile.

Bel pushed open the door and we could hear all of our friends talking amongst each other. My body froze and this intense fear wavered over me. Bel was standing next to me, probably realizing I stopped moving. He continued to hold my hand and wait for me to move, then I exhaled all the air I was holding in and let my shoulders slump. I glanced up and gave him a reassured nod that I was okay, he led me to one of the crowded tables.

Mukuro and Chrome sat on one side, while Hibari and Gokudera were on the opposite side of them. Yamamoto and Mammon sat next to them to the right. I sat down next to Mukuro while Bel went off to get our food, I was alone with my friends whom talked quietly amongst each other.

I felt an uneasy feeling washing over me, I slowly turned my head while furrowing my brows to catch Mukuro curiously staring at me with his penetrating red eye. I tried giving him a smile but I probably failed so I turned away and looked down at the white clean table, staring at small scratch markings that were carved in by possible finger tips or the sharp end of a fork.

Bel's arrival startled me, he plopped down on my right side and placed my tray in front of me. The white table gone only to be replaced with weird looking food, the fruit loops in the orange beige bowl was colorful while the milk mixed like shimmering paint.

I gripped the spoon hanging on the side of the tray and scooped some of the fruit loops. I examined it and voluntarily let the spoon slip from my fingers, it clanged against the bowl and the others sitting at the table glanced at me all at once.

I never had a hard time eating before, but the fruit loops are spinning and their mixing into an ugly putrid color like warm vomit. Speckled of a bright light blinded my sight and my mind numbed, I could see the sinister smile of my captor, placing the plastic bowl in front of the cage as if I were some animal; like any hungry mongrel, I reached for the bowl and let the warm sickness squeeze through my teeth and linger on my tongue.

Signals alerted my brain so fast that my stomach acid began to bubble, I clenched my teeth so hard and squeezed my eyes tightly closed, hoping and wishing over and over that it doesn't come up. The tangy bitterness is so real that one of my hands grab my stomach while the other is slapped hard over my mouth, tears sprung and harshly slid down my warm cheeks.

I can feel someone shaking me and it doesn't make me feel any better. "Fran! Fran!" It's Bel, he's frantic, he's yelling, the worried tone in his voice scares me that my eyes flash open and I scramble off the bench that I'm sitting on, the tray holding the cereal flips and I can hear the glass smashing on the floor and the milk splashing in a sickening reminder.

Pushing open the door and running down the white halls that only add to my dizziness, my hands are trembling and my fingers grip my stomach while my other hand never leaves my mouth. I can't grasp enough breath through my nose, I keep breathing in and out so fast that my legs are giving out and when I make it to the bathroom, I push open one of the stalls, I fall hard on the floor and slam both my hands on the sides of the toilet and it all comes out.

My body convulsed as the bitterness burns my mouth, my throat and the tears are burning my eyes. After a few minutes throwing up food and stomach acid, nothing else comes out from my mouth and I reach for the handle, flushing all the waste to the sewers.

I fall back and I lean against the wall, exhausted and extremely tired. I wouldn't mind sleeping here on the cold floor of the bathroom, I don't mind letting all my sadness and fear envelop me because for so long I think that's all I have ever felt.

I almost dose off when my ears twitch at the sound of the bathroom door opening up. My eyes strain to open and see the glow of blond and the frown of my senpai. I must be disgusting to look at, I wouldn't blame him if he left right now to my sorrow. I think it would actually make me feel better than letting Bel watch me as I wilt away.

"I'm not going to ask if you're alright," He says, leaning himself against the sinks, arms crossed over his chest as he continues to stare through the thick mass of blond hair. His tiara glints in the light and the foul stench of vomit some how isn't comforting.

"I'm not."

"Are you going to tell me what's going on with you?" Serious doesn't fit my senpai, he should be taunting me, laughing at my dismay.

"I can't explain it," My voice cracks and a tear runs down my cheek that's hidden from his view. I sit up right instead of half lying on my back, tilting my head to the side and trying to ignore the horrible bitterness staining my tongue.

"Lussaria thinks it's a good idea you talk with a psychiatrist." The news doesn't surprise me, I talked with counselors and medical doctors before, mostly they diagnosed me with depression and left me on my way. Now I feel as if something else is taking control, something that is stronger and much more willingly to destroy my everyday routine.

I give him a thumbs up, "Awesome."

"Do you want to go back to the room?"

I don't have to think about it. "Yes."

Bel pushes himself from the sinks and the light illuminates his pretty face that I think he must be beautiful. The laughter of the boy with no eyes scares me, I can hear him laughing and repeatedly telling me to die. His fate reminds me of Bel, everything about the boy reminds me of Bel.

His name.. is Casper.. I think.

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**To Be Continued.**

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**[Authors Notes]**

Hey. I'm so sorry I haven't updated for so long. I had severe writers block so I decided to stay away from Fanfiction and go on Fictionpress for awhile. :)

Hopefully you like this chapter. There will be a lot to reveal about Fran's horrible memories and the people who are in them.

**Reviews are appreciated. No Flames or bashing please.**


	3. Chapter 3

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An exhausting week later, Fran succumbed to seeing a therapist for his wild night terrors and vivid hallucinations. At first he was okay for talking with someone about what has been going on, but afterwards he thought it was a trap and hid himself in various places of the Varia.

Belphegor leaned against the wall beside the sound proof room that was made into their bedroom. He has been on high alert ever since Fran has been calling him a certain name. He's positive that Fran is becoming a little delusional and he doesn't know how to deal with someone like that, even though he himself is a bit psychotic.

"Hey," Squalo called as he came walking towards him. "How is he?" He asked, glancing at the closed door. Bel sighed and stood straight up as he too looked at the door, a shiver running up his spine at the thought of dealing with Fran.

"It could be better," Bel said, pressing his knuckles against the door and knocking lightly against it. They both waited for a reply but only heard the silent shudders of someone whimpering on the other side. Bel turned to look at Squalo, with an aggravated sigh, "You should head off, I'm going to deal with the frog."

Without another word he headed inside, Squalo shrugged his shoulders and walked the other way. The darkness of the bedroom was lit by the open door, a silent echo bothered Bel a little until he closed the door and the darkness enveloped the room. The whimpers indicated Fran was lying on the far end of the bed, possibly he was on the floor underneath the bed.

"Fran, come here," Bel coaxed, hoping he wouldn't freak out like he did earlier when he physically attacked him just because he came to give him food. Fran has a hard time eating and leaving the bedroom. He'd rather sleep on the floor than move on the bed.

The whimpers stopped and the top of a dark teal colored head appeared from the other side of the bed. The menacing green eyes didn't terrify Bel. Fran squeezed the blankets and pressed his face into it, tears leaked from his eyes as he silently sobbed.

Bel walked around the bed and leaned down next to Fran who voluntarily fell into his open arms. "Bel.. They won't stop whispering in my ear!" Fran cried while Bel soothingly rubbed his back.

"What are they saying?" Bel asked him.

Fran sniffled and moved back onto his knees and rubbed his nose, "They're telling me to kill you and everyone here in the V-Varia.."

Bel warmly smiled, wiping a loose tear running down Fran's pale cheek. "You of all people know that will never happen. Everyone in the Varia is possibly stronger and merciless than you."

Fran nodded, "I know.. I didn't say I would." Bel caught a malicious glint in Fran's eye, suddenly Fran raised his arm and lunged at him with a silver knife in his hand that he stolen at the moment they hugged seconds ago. Bel swiftly reached for Fran's wrist and twisted his arm. Fran winced and he dropped the knife in pain while Bel spun the knife in his hand and threw it across the room, it stuck half way deep inside the wall.

"I was wondering when you were going to do that," Bel murmured, pulling Fran up onto his legs and pushing him forcefully on the bed. Fran rolled on his back and glared at him as he tugged on the blanket to cover himself.

"I hate you," Fran growled and Bel felt a sliver of pain ache inside his chest at the hard sound of Fran's hatred. Of course he knew from a week ago that Fran's hatred wasn't exactly directed at himself, lately Fran has been calling him by a different name than his given and it's becoming a hindrance.

Bel tucked his hands in his sweater pockets, standing a foot away from the bed and from Fran. "Are you going to talk with the therapist?"

"Why should I? It won't do any difference," Fran said, his voice passive and stoic.

"It might."

Fran shook his head, "No it won't. I'm not some insane person trying to be diagnosed with a disease!" Fran growled, he sat up fast and was glaring hard at Bel.

Bel sighed and leaned forwards, pressing both hands on the bed and looking Fran in the eyes, "You're going even if you don't want too."

Fran tilted his head to the side and smiled like a child. "Am I? Well I guess you're dragging me."

Bel rolled his eyes, "I'm always dragging you around lately," He murmured, watching Fran for any subtle movements that spoke aggression or sadness. The entire week has been nothing but trouble for the Varia, most of their friends didn't want to be near Fran because how hysterical he can become, and that his wild delusions of some kid wandering the halls is haunting him and threatening to kill him; which is absurd.

"Bel-senpai. I'm hungry," Fran pushed the blankets away from him and lifted his shirt to show his smooth pale skin. Bel swallowed thickly and looked away from the appetizing scene before him, licking his dry cracked lips and calmed his breathing, inside his pockets he dug his nails hard into his palm so he couldn't lose control.

He knew for instance that ever since Fran started having his hallucinations and delusions, that their relationship hasn't gone anywhere. Fran was either afraid or pissed off at him for reasons he didn't understand, yet now this had to be the most civil conversation they ever had over the past week.

"Let's go eat then," Bel finally said, keeping his head turned away from Fran.

Fran smiled, dropped his shirt and rolling off the bed, he had a bounce to his step as he headed for the door. The light of the hallway made Bel slightly flinch as he followed Fran out of the room.

He walked alongside Fran, "Are you going to see the therapist after you eat?"

Fran hummed, "Sure why not."

Bel let out an aggravated sigh, he ignored the thoughts coming to his mind that suspected Fran had some sort of ulterior motive. Usually Fran wasn't so happy, sometimes he didn't like to show feelings and he didn't talk so much either. They entered the cafeteria that barely occupied much of the Varia inmates. Mukuro, Chrome were the only ones sitting on the far left of the room, eating salads and conversing about nonsensical things.

Bel and Fran sat down on the right side of the room, ignoring the gawking stares from the other two. Bel got up and went to grab something for the both of them to eat. Fran stayed where he was, running his fingers through his hair and digging his fingers into his scalp.

He had a throbbing headache that wouldn't leave him ever since Bel walked into the room. There was always the sweet foul whispers of the ghosts in the room, occupying the darkness and speaking their controversial opinions. Then there was the keen individual, the one smiling wide with shining white teeth, his eyes gone and the white bandage matted with blood could be seen far across the room.

"_Kill them, kill them, kill them, kill them._" He chanted on like some occult member to a devils spell. Even now he sat across him him, where Bel was just sitting a few moments ago.

His hands intertwined and placed on the cold white table. Blood oozed from his teeth and from the bloody bandage, trailing thin rivers down his pale sickly cheek while his thin dark hair was unkempt and pointing to different directions as if he rolled out of bed.

"What are you doing here Casper?" Fran seethed, gritting his teeth and glaring at the boy who continued to smile wickedly.

Casper laughed, _"I'm here to play a game."_

Suddenly Casper's presence began to waver and change into something else, blonde limp hair covering the eyes, light pale skin and a visible frown played on his pale pink lips.

"Why do you keep calling me Casper?" Bel wondered, his interest highly peaked.

Fran sniffled and he felt widely confused. "He was just here.. Talking to me.. " He whimpered, hating the vivid hallucinations.

Bel's lip twitched and he placed a plate of various fruits in front of Fran, "Are you going to tell me who Casper is?"

Fran picked up a round juicy green grape, "He isn't my friend if that is what you're asking."

"Then who is he?"

Fran plopped the grape into his mouth and shrugged his shoulders, Bel continued to frown his disagreement. "For the past week you've been calling me Casper, I would like to know who he is."

"He's no one."

"_Of course I'm someone_," The ill taunting voice right next to Fran alerted his presence. Fran glanced at him then back at Bel who was slowly eating a piece of apple.

Fran sighed, looking down at his plate. "Trust me, he's no one."

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**To Be Continued.**


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